Relapse is often one of the scariest words for anyone in recovery. The notion that the entire house of cards can collapse with one impulsive decision can be a terrifying thought for anyone trying to get and stay sober. The myth is that relapse is actually an impulsive decision. There are many schools of thought regarding relapse, but in my experience the act of returning to a mood altering substance is the final action in a string of decisions.
Maintenance is the key to long term sobriety, recovery and success. A consistent regiment of meetings, service and twelve-step work is what’s required to obtain the best odds at long term sobriety. In some respects, one can look at long term recovery the same as an automobile. When the car is driven off the lot, it is in prime working condition, the fluids are full and the engine is humming without issue. Over time, wear and tear, weather, passengers, and other use related damage occur to the vehicle. Without replacing the fluids, checking the oil and tire pressure, and going in for regular maintenance check-ups, the car begins to degrade rapidly. So it is with sobriety.
Life can cause wear and tear on people. Family issues, relationship struggles, work drama all play a part in how well the mental engine is humming. The twelve steps are like the regular check-ups for the emotional vehicle. Taking regular inventory of assets and liabilities inform about which fluids need to be replenished and conserved. Meetings are like the fuel. Constantly rejuvenating the spirit and fostering a sense of community allows for long-term travel and safety. No one wants to drive a car on an empty tank. The gas mileage isn’t good, and the fear of running out of gas in the middle of a trip is constant. Regular attendance at meetings is a way to keep the tank full.
Finally, service work is like the steering and alignment. Making sure the vehicle is moving safely in the right direction is the cornerstone to good driving. Much the same, service work is the cornerstone to solid, long-term recovery. Helping others less fortunate, making coffee, cleaning up and being there for another human being keeps the emotional car moving in the right direction.
If all parts are in working order, and regularly inspected, engines can last 200,000 miles or more. So it is with recovery. If all these components maintained, the risk of relapse is greatly diminished and long-term recovery can last a lifetime.